Treading in the Shallow End

Yesterday, Gillian and I were laughing about the game show “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?” I was explaining to Ben that we watched it the other day, and that I got one of the questions very, very wrong and how silly I felt because I should have known the answer. Gillie started stammering over her words and told me that she wanted to tell me something, but that she didn’t want to say it in public. I pointed out that we were in the car, so the public wasn’t going to hear her. That it was just us, her family, and that if she wanted, she could share whatever she wanted.

She said that it was ok with her if I went on that show, that I was probably smarter than a 5th grader, but that I should wait until I wasn’t F-A-T anymore.

Yeah, she spelled it out.

Ben laughed nervously. My jaw dropped, and I actually felt a little bad. Ben tried hard – HARD - to fix things. “Your mom is beautiful. She isn’t fat. Gillian, that was a very rude thing to say. In private or in public.”

“But dad, it’s the truth. And you always want me to tell the truth. Right?”

Sure, I felt a little bad that I am overweight and not as healthy as I need to be. But what really made me sad was that she felt like I would be embarrassing myself if I went on television in the state that I am now. That people who look like me SHOULD be embarrassed, or even that SHE would be embarrassed BY me.

She’s a very pretty girl. Her hair makes her unique, and everywhere she’s ever gone, people have commented about how wonderful and special she is because of her looks. I’ve had perfect strangers come up to me at grocery stores and tell me that I am selfish for not sharing her beauty with the world through movies or commercials or modeling. But my reason for not signing her up to be eyeballed by the whole world is because I don’t want her looks becoming the only noticed, celebrated thing about her. I don’t want her believing that her beauty is the only thing of value about her. I have always told her that she’s beautiful, of course. But I’ve also always tried to show her how special she is because she’s smart, and likes lions, and is drawn to science, and is kind and compassionate and friendly. She lights up a room when she walks in because she makes people happy. She has an infectious laugh and will befriend everyone she comes into contact with. She likes everyone and doesn’t ever stick to a particular type of person to befriend. When I say she likes everyone, I mean EVERYONE. And those things should be celebrated too. But often, her dad and I are the only ones she hears that from.

Which makes me sad. Sad for her. Sad for all kiddos like her. Sure, I could be working harder to get this extra weight off. Sure, it would be better for me and for my whole family if I were healthier. But honestly, I don’t let my looks define me anymore. I sure used to, and I did some really unhealthy things in the past to try to fit into the heroin chic mold that they were forcing down our throats when I was young. And I’m going to be totally supportive of Gillian wanting to remain healthy. I just worry about her becoming obsessed with the way she looks instead of the more important parts of her.

I want her to celebrate the fact that she is a child of God, wonderfully and fearfully made, and that God doesn’t really place value on how she looks. But that He wants her to take care of this body He has blessed her with and focus on how she can use her gifts to help others and glorify Him!

What a backyards world we live in! Help us, Jesus!

Praying in the Plural

A few weeks back, we had a sermon at church that has changed the way that I pray. Our pastor told us that there is more of God than we could ever need, and that He seems willing to give us more of Him than we can use. When God shows up, He shows up in abundance. If He is showing up in our lives, our lives should be spilling over with Him.

We have so much of Him that there should be overflow.

Our pastor adopted a boy and his name is Temesgen. The name Temesgen means ‘Thank you to a God who when He shows up, His smallest portion is more than enough.’

Isn’t that beautiful? I may have a new nickname for my little ones.

So if this is true, where is God spilling out of us? What God has poured into our lives, we can be pouring into others since we have such an abundance of what we have asked for.

The day that Pastor Robert said this, I had prayed for more sleep for myself. I have a baby and my two older kiddos were sick. I hadn’t had very much sleep at all in several days, and I was absolutely wasted. I know there are many, many other moms like me who suffer from sleepless nights, so instead of just praying that I would find rest, I also prayed that all the other parents in the world who needed rest would receive it.

How would the knowledge that God gives us more than we need change your prayers?

When asked how we should pray, Jesus says a prayer that we’ve come to know as the Lord’s Prayer:

OUR Family in heaven….
Give US this daily bread…
Forgive US our trespasses…
Lead US not into temptation…
Deliver US from evil…

Even Jesus prayed in the plural.

Think about the things you are praying for today - employment, health, healing of broken relationships, sleep, forgiveness of sins – and consider praying these things for more than just yourself.

Bonus thought: Do you say “Our Father” on Sunday but act like an orphan the rest of the week?

Please pray

This is Sara and her precious daughter Chloe. Sara was diagnosed with breast cancer and then found out she was pregnant. Chloe was born about two weeks ago, and everyone thought they were in the clear. But then Sara started getting headaches and ended up having seizures. Now she is in a grave condition.

Please join me in praying for this sweet family. She needs a miracle. Nothing besides an act of God will save her now.

thank you.

Edit - Sara went home to her Lord today. Please pray for Brady and baby Chloe.

So the devil can sit on a tack!

Our sermon at church yesterday was about how God can surprise us, and how we as prayer warriors can pray that God would do something surprising. (I heard of one young boy who asks God to dazzle him!) Our pastor referenced the book, "Surprise Me" by Terry Esau, and said that while it's a good book, we should also be writing our own book. Maybe not literally, but he suggested that we pray that prayer for a while and see what God will do.

So after church, I went to my bedroom for some quiet time and prayed that prayer. I was right away bombarded with images of my kids getting hurt. We were planning a trip up into the mountains (see last post), and I kept seeing Jack crawl off the edge and fall thousands of feet. Or I would see Josh walking on an iced-over lake and fall in.

Satan is always trying to do that. To distract me from my time with God. He's always trying to put all this fear in me so that I won't ask God for anything real or risky. He was trying to do that yesterday. Praying "God, surprise me," isn't a safe prayer. If you've read your Bible recently, you'll notice that He doesn't let us live a pain-free life. Asking God to show up and do something drastic, drastic enough to surprise us, could mean that life as we know it might get turned upside down. I definitely don't want God to take one of my kids from me in order to surprise me. I don't want to be diagnosed with cancer or be in a car accident as a result of asking God to show up in a mighty way. But I also know that life isn't easy, and as long as I have my faith and my God, that everything will turn out alright.

So Satan can go bother someone else. I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of having put any kind of fear in me. I will NOT stop praying for God to show up. I will NOT stop asking God to surprise me. I will NOT lose my faith or my focus. I will NOT become a slave to fear - only praying for ease and comfort. I am going to continue to pray that God would rule my life and guide me through whatever He thinks I need to further His kingdom.

Fall Color Photos

Yesterday, we decided to take a trip up into the mountains to see if the trees had changed their colors yet. It was spectacular! Absolutely gorgeous! My daughter even told me during the drive that I needed to practice more self-control. Apparently, I was drooling and whooping and hollering around every turn! Funny stuff. I had brought us all jackets because the last time we drove up here around this time last year, it was snowing, and we were all in t-shirts and shorts! I had a stash of jackets in the car last year and got lucky to have them. So this year, I thought I had it all planned out. But silly me, I thought I'd be too warm in jeans. So I was wearing shorts! And it was snowing again. I should have known!

Regardless, we had such a fun time, and I loved these photos. Especially the ones at the end here of the close-ups of my fam. I think they turned out really nice, and I will treasure them!

Hearing from God

A lot of Christians through the years have blamed their behavior on what they believed God was telling them to do. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is not for this post. But how does one know for sure whether an idea is from themselves or from The Almighty?

For me, it’s kind of like this. Imagine yourself in a dark room. No windows. Lights turned off. Complete darkness. But then you notice the light. Sometimes it is so small that you have to really focus on it and draw near to it in order to keep it in sight. Other times, it’s blaring at you like headlights from a 747. You are drawn to the light, perhaps because it’s so different from the surrounding darkness.

When I am tempted to do something, it is nearly impossible for my sinful nature to see anything except the dark. But I almost always catch the flicker of a light before I end up doing something wrong. If I turn to that light, I am reminded of my true calling. I am reminded of the commitment I made to God to follow Him and stand up against the temptations of this world. I am reminded WHY God’s ways are so much better than my own ways.

I believe that the light is the Holy Spirit’s way of getting my attention. I believe that the source of the light is Jesus, my Savior. And I believe that they both remind me that I am a daughter of God and that I am to behave like one who has hope, who has access to the strength of the Lord, who can resist temptation and live differently from the rest of the world so that glory will be given to Jesus.

But Lisa, you still sin. If you have all this access, all this opportunity, all these warnings before the storm, why do you still sin?

Here’s the thing. I can choose to ignore that light. I can let myself get swept up in the darkness and turn my back on that gentle nudging. I can neglect my relationship with God so that finding that light is like finding a needle in a haystack. I can let the darkness consume me so quickly that I don’t have time to look for the light.

Now, how do you know when what you hear in that light is from God and not just some random idea from your own grey matter? If it lines up with Scripture, then it’s likely from God. If you can’t find any Scriptural support for your line of thinking, it’s probably safe to say that it isn’t God’s Will for you.

If you maintain your relationship with God and know His Word, that light will be more discernable in this dark world. And if you listen to what this light is saying and stay on the path laid out in front of you, YOU will become that light in the darkness to which people are drawn.

Where I'm supposed to be?

When I first became a Christian, I would hear the phrase “God has me right where He wants me” thrown around a lot.

But I’m pretty positive that if I were in some hotel room right now with someone other than my husband, I would NOT be where God wanted me.

God knows what we’re going to do before we do it. He knows what our life will look like today, tomorrow and all the way until the day we die, and more than likely beyond that. But to say that whatever we do and wherever we go is part of God’s plan for us is a bit irresponsible.

We need to realize that God gave us a will. He wants us to use it to choose His ways and not any other ways. But we have the choice to exercise that will in a way that goes against what God would plan for us. Yes, He can turn whatever mess we create for ourselves into a beautiful thing down the road, but I wouldn’t say that it was His plan all along to have us suffer as many consequences as we end up with. I wouldn’t say that His plan for my life would be to have me cheat on my spouse, divorce and then end up in a closer relationship with Him.

I would imagine that He would prefer that I love my spouse and respect him and stay devoted to him, and that the challenges of loving someone else like that would draw me into that closer relationship that God desires for all of us.

What do you think?

My Little Girl is Growing Up

In case you haven't noticed, school has started once again. We are now waking up at 6:30am every weekday to get dressed and force a bit of breakfast down our throats before walking to class to drop off a 1st grader. That's right, Miss Gillian is in the first grade. How ridiculous is that?! Here are a couple of pictures from her first day.

If you need further proof that this little girl is not so little anymore - check this out. Gillian turned 7 on Saturday!
Here's a look back in time.

Gillian at 7 weeks.
One year old.

Two years old.

Three years old.

Four years old.

Five years old.

Six years old.
and now....

We had a party, and of course, it had to have lots of lions, her favorite animal. I made her a cute little Narnia shirt, since her own personal motto is "For Narnia and for Aslan!" I made lion cookies, a lion cake, and we had Turkish Delight, which is the snack that Edmund asks from the White Witch upon entering Narnia. Gillian and her friends played Pin the Tail on the Lion, and I hid a dollar bill in a balloon and had them sit on them to bust them until they found the prize. It was a fun party, and most importantly, Gillian really enjoyed it.

Here are some more cute pictures of Gillian from the first week of First Grade. I wanted to take cute pictures; she wanted to try out some poses. Yeah ok, G, whatever you want.