Friday, August 26, 2011

not satisfied

I realized the other day that I speak a lot on this blog about how I’m not satisfied with God and how instead of relying on Him and Him alone, I seek out other things to fill these aches. I know that I don't necessarily describe it that way, but that's the way it is.  I know how wrong this is, but every time I take inventory of my heart, there it is again! Something in my heart that I have substituted for God.

Part of that is wrong. Part of that is true.

It’s true that I’m not satisfied with God. I can look at my life and see areas where I’m straight-up saying “You are not enough. I need more, and I’m gonna try to find that more in this or that.”

And that’s where I’m wrong. It’s ok to not be satisfied with God. Or at least to not be satisfied with the relationship that I currently have. I’m designed to never be ABLE to get enough of God. I will always constantly need Him. I SHOULD always be seeking more of Him. His is a Love that I can never wear out and never not be in desperate need of. I shouldn’t ever get to a place where I think I’ve experienced or know all that I need or want from God.  But I've been wrong in turning to anything besides Him.

And so I’m here to say that I am not satisfied. I need more. And instead of running to other things to fill that void, I’m going to run to Him. And then I’m gonna turn around and run toward Him again. And again. And again. And never get enough. I want more of Him. I need more of Him.

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