Monday, February 14, 2011

Dear Gillian

Dear Gillian,

Honey, I am so proud of you.  You are a sweet, kind, loving young girl.  You are so smart and imaginative.  You are beautiful inside and out.  You are very friendly and always try to involve everyone when you have a fun idea. 

I know that when we moved here, and you had to start first grade at a new school that you were a little nervous.  You had heard of bullies before and were afraid that this school might have some.  What relief when you came home that first day of school after hearing your principal say that your school was to be a Bully-Free zone!!  I remember your words exactly - "Mom!  Bullies aren't even allowed at my school!"

I'm so sorry that you have been let down.

As your mom, there is a part of me that wants to drop-kick some of your classmates.  There's also a teeny-tiny part of me (the chicken part of me) that wishes that you could be 'you' at home and that you could be whoever it took for your classmates to leave you alone at school.  But mostly, I am sad.  I am sad that kids get picked on.  I am sad that those mean kids aren't even giving you a chance.  I am sad that a lot of kids who do actually like you and have fun with you end up following the loudest bullies because they are afraid that they will be bullied if they stand up for you.  and I am sad that they make you doubt how incredible you truly are.

I LOVE that you march to the beat of your own drum.  That you aren't just like every other little girl out there.  I love that you love Jesus and that you aren't afraid to tell everyone you meet about Him.  I pray that your classmates don't ever steal that away from you.  I pray that you don't let them change you.  That you continue to gallop like you are a knight on a horse during recess because you like it, and it makes you feel strong and brave.  That you feel free to wear that dress that makes you feel like a Narnian queen.  I pray that you continue to sing with your whole body.  I pray that you continue to be friends with that sweet girl who everyone picks on, even though they pick on you for being her friend.

You are enough!  You are worthy!  You are incredible!  You are lovable and special and unique and amazing!  You ARE wanted.  You ARE a joy to be around.  You ARE lovely. No matter who says you aren't.  and I'm not just saying that because you are my daughter.  Ask around.  You are VERY loved and adored!  But I am so blessed to get to be your mom.  God must REALLY love me.  and I know that He REALLY loves you.

School can be tough.  Everyone is figuring out where they fit on the totem pole of the world.  Fix yourself to the things that God says are important.  Kids will say things they don't mean to see what your reaction will be.  They might be trying to find out if they have any sort of power or control over you.  If they discover that they can upset you, they will know where to go when they need to do something awful to someone.  I imagine that a lot of the time, they are hurting too and just need to feel powerful for a little bit.  For some weird reason, it makes them feel better.  I know that I have said my fair share of things that were hurtful because I felt empty and afraid.  I don't want to defend your classmates' despicable behavior, but please continue to be gentle.  Be compassionate.  You don't have to be friends with everyone, and you don't have to put up with anyone trying to tear you to shreds.  But be kind.  Don't let them bring you down to their level.  Treat people the way you want them to treat you.  And hopefully they will.

I love you dearly. 

1 comment:

Kelley said...


I am so sorry that little girls are so mean. I don't know why they are that way, but they've been that way since long before I was your age (I think the dinosaurs may have still been roaming the Earth then).

Please don't let them get you down. I promise you that if you stay true to yourself, your life will be SO wonderful.

I was picked on a lot at school because I was never "with it" (or whatever fitting in and going with the flow is called now). The girl that tormented me the most (and made me cry a lot) spent the last 10 years of her life in PRISON. Who's cool now? Right? I spent the last 10 years with my family and people that I love.

You are a beautiful little lady! You keep on loving Jesus and your life will be amazing.