Saturday, April 24, 2010

Light in the Darkness

I have personally escorted God into some truly dark places. How about you? I used to think I’d make a good criminal (don’t they all?) because I’m pretty observant, and I don’t mind risk. But I ended up figuring out that I couldn’t be a criminal because I didn’t actually want to do anything bad. I just assumed that I could and get away with it. I sure wouldn’t have thought that possible if I had considered that God would see me. That He’d see me planning it out and executing it and then basking in my own stupid glory when the cops didn’t come banging down my door. When I think of that now, I shudder to think what could have been.

I hate to think of what I’ve exposed my sweet, sweet Lord to when He examines my heart. I have some serious sludge in there, and He has taken it upon Himself to sift through it and present me with its messes. But He doesn’t just drop a heap of my own garbage in my lap, standing over me with an exasperated, disapproving look on His face. He offers to help me clean it up. Seriously? My God? The God who is soooooo good that He can’t have a speck of sin around Him? That God has offered to go THERE with me, into the deep, dark dungeon of my soul in order to relieve me of the stifling mess I keep hoarded up in there?

Why yes He does. Wow.

My own husband won’t even go with me to some of the places that I want to visit. He doesn’t even like to hear me talk about it. With my past, I sometimes fancy myself uniquely qualified to walk into some of these places and shine the light of Jesus there. It freaks Ben out. But God…God is already there. I’d just be joining Him there. And I don’t need to go there for God to show up. He’s right there right now. I sometimes have a hard time picturing God in these places. How can He just stand there and allow some of that garbage to happen? How can Love exist in such close proximity to Evil? But He’s not just standing there, all stoic and unaffected. He’s weeping with those who are weeping. He’s comforting those who need comforting. He’s moving in the hearts of those who do wrong, calling them into a relationship with Him, showing them the error of their ways. He’s trying to rally the troops and get His followers to follow Him there.

I am thankful that God doesn’t abandon us when we enter these dark territories. Whether in our minds and hearts or literally with our feet. Not only does He accompany us in the midst of our mess, but He offers to clean us off afterwards. What love!

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