Monday, March 09, 2009

Jedi Mind Tricks and other funnies

Thank goodness I'm too smart to fall for this:

Gillian: Mmmmoooommm! I'm thirsty.

Me: Hi, Thirsty. Nice to meet you.

Gillian: (sigh) No, mom. I'm really thirsty. And don't call me Really Thirsty.

Me: Ok, sugarface. As soon as we're done shopping, I'll get you a drink.

Gillian: Oh, alright.

(6.8 seconds later)

Gillian: Mom?

Me: yeah?

Gillian: You look thirsty. How about I get you a drink?

What a clever girl! But see, I don't fall for those Jedi Mind Tricks. I AM a Jedi.

yeah whatever.

Josh asked me the other day if he was my love.

Josh: Mom, am I your love?

Me: Yes, honey. You are my love.

Josh: hmmmm. That's ok. But I'm also your favorite Josh.

Me: Right again. You are definitely my favorite Josh.

Josh: Mom?

Me: Yes?

Josh: You're my love too.


Another funny saying from this week actually comes from my husband. I've been going to the rec center to workout everyday, and yesterday after I'd finished, I was telling Ben about it. I was telling him that I rode a bike and put it on the weight loss program and that when the resistance got really intense, I would alternate between praying for the little girl we're sponsoring through Compassion International and envisioning myself in a bathing suit on a beach in Cabo with him. I told that I didn't want to go to Cabo and get mistaken for a beached whale, to which he replied "Yeah, no kidding! That would be awesome."

WHOA! Stop the bus! Did hubby just say I looked like a beached whale?!!!

Now see, a girl can call herself fat, but if her husband does it, he's sleeping on the couch. You know, because there's just not enough room for him and his Shamu wife in that nice comfy bed of theirs. It's really an act of compassion on the wife's part. Truly. If she gets unnaturally violent urges toward him in the middle of the night, she'd have to get out of bed and walk over to the couch to do anything. And it's probably just not worth the effort. So you see. It's for the best.

I wish I could have taken a picture of his face. His eyes bugged out of my face, and he turned so red that I thought he was having an allergic reaction to something.

"No, no, no. I meant it would be awesome to go to a beach with you. You're gorgeous, baby."

He literally spent the rest of the night grabbing me and saying how much thinner I'm looking these days.

So he got to sleep in his own bed with me and my much thinner self. Hilarious.

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