I blogged yesterday out of frustration because although I want desperately to follow God, I don’t always know how that’s supposed to look or what exactly I’m supposed to do. I feel like my current walk is shallow, anemic and stale. I was hoping to find a guide somewhere that would match passions and talents with the various needs in the world, but as far as I can tell, there has yet to be one written. And naturally my fear is that if ever there were a book like this written, it would be so full of legalism that glorifying God wouldn’t even be a consideration.
That is also the main reason why I wouldn’t want to be the one to write it.
I think the reason for the lack of a specific step-by-step road maps in our various journeys to obey God is because often He wants us to encounter the people who live off the beaten path. Frequently what we do with a calling when we don’t know exactly what to do is much more worthwhile than any plan could have afforded.
And yet God didn’t leave us completely hanging. A lot of His commands are at best vague, but seeking out other verses in the Scriptures can help clarify their intent.
One of my passions is to seek justice for the oppressed. But there are so many injustices happening in the world today. How does one get started in seeking justice? What will happen once we put one foot in front of the other on the path to securing justice for the 27 million slaves in the world today? Will it be dangerous? Will God show up? Am I willing to sacrifice my comfort, security and control for those 27 million? What would Jesus do?
I just finished reading Gary Haugen’s latest book, Just Courage. I am not a fast reader and yet I finished it in less than two days. Most of you would probably finish it in an afternoon. I started reading it right after I had blogged, and I’m telling you, God is so good. A lot of the questions that I had asked in my post were answered in the book. Some of my questions were in there word for word. How’s that for divine intervention? Who can question whether God is speaking to us today?!
If I posted the highlights of the book for me here, I’d basically have to type the whole thing out. So do yourselves a favor and go read it. I’d love to discuss it with you.
One of the most practical applications that I read about was considering myself as the one being oppressed. And then I listed out what I would want someone to do for me to save me from the injustice. Basically, I applied the Golden Rule (Matt. 7:12). And it was that simple. Why hadn’t I thought of it before?
There are people being oppressed right here in my town. I already know of local organizations that are rescuing them out of it. And now I know I have a better idea of how I can help these organizations help the victims. I am mighty encouraged today and thanking my God for allowing me the opportunity of having the joy that comes from loving Him and loving my neighbor.
Because awareness creates the social demand necessary to bring change, consider doing a little research yourself on modern day slavery. National Geographic Magazine had a feature story in 2003 about it. You can find a portion of the article here.
Then you can also visit the International Justice Mission website to see for yourself what is being done in Christ’s name to rescue the oppressed that God so passionately loves.
And you can pick up and read the two other books by Gary Haugen, Good News about injustice and Terrify No More. I’m actually reading through Terrify No More right now, and I have read and blogged and blogged some more about Good News of Injustice before. Mr. Haugen is an extraordinary communicator, and I feel braver after reading about how he has successfully rescued a number of slaves around the world. God makes him brave, and He wants to make me brave too. I don’t know where this bravery would take me, but I do know that if I take this passion, my God-given talents and ask God to help me seek justice, that I will.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Jealous?
Before my mom and stepdad left to return to Texas, they gave us their pass into Rocky Mountain National Park that had a few days left before it expired, some money for lunch and ice cream and a gas card. I had no excuse not to go.
Some of the path was still covered with snow, and the kids looked like pros as they crossed it.
After Bear Lake, we went into Estes Park to find some lunch. We ended up getting burgers and eating by a river that goes through the town. It was lovely. Then we stopped into an ice cream store that sold Blue Bell! In Texas, that's just about the only kind of ice cream we eat, but Ben and I haven't been able to find it here in the stores. So I knew that's where we were going. Gillie had a Rainbow Sherbert, I had Peaches n' Cream, and Josh just had to have Krazy Kolors. Or rather his whole face had to have it.
After lots of wet wipes and walking along the river a bit more, we headed back into the park for another hike. We opted this time for Sprague Lake which is very similar to Bear Lake, meaning that it's incredibly easy and stunningly beautiful.
And even though we didn't wake up at 4-flippin-30 in the morning, we still saw a few animals. On our trip back after lunch, we came across a herd of big horned sheep. We also saw a sweet momma duck and her little chicks in Sprague Lake, and these cute little chipmunks were everywhere. Oh and these beautiful creatures...
shhh. Don't tell anyone, but they came home with me. :)
So we went last Wedesday, and I totally forgot to blog about it! Bad me.
I was hoping to get out early enough to see all the animals before they retreated back to the cool of their hideaways. We left our house around 7:30am, and it takes almost an hour and a half to get there. By then, they were pretty much all gone. I did see one elk, but I didn't pull over in time to snap a pic. And I saw a couple of deer, but again with the not being fast enough to photograph them. I emailed my mom later to ask when they were out there (They had gotten tons of amazing pictures of the elk. They had been eating right by the road!), and she said they were out there at 6am. 6AM?! So I'd have to leave my house by...4:30am?! ok, someday, but not any day in the near future. Momma needs her sleep.
We walked around Bear Lake, and although it is beautiful, it's a carved out path that is very touristy. We tend to prefer the trails that feel a bit more like un-charted territory. This was definitely NOT one of those. But it was easy for two small kids and a pregnant mommy so it was still nice. Here are some pictures from that.
Some of the path was still covered with snow, and the kids looked like pros as they crossed it.
After Bear Lake, we went into Estes Park to find some lunch. We ended up getting burgers and eating by a river that goes through the town. It was lovely. Then we stopped into an ice cream store that sold Blue Bell! In Texas, that's just about the only kind of ice cream we eat, but Ben and I haven't been able to find it here in the stores. So I knew that's where we were going. Gillie had a Rainbow Sherbert, I had Peaches n' Cream, and Josh just had to have Krazy Kolors. Or rather his whole face had to have it.
After lots of wet wipes and walking along the river a bit more, we headed back into the park for another hike. We opted this time for Sprague Lake which is very similar to Bear Lake, meaning that it's incredibly easy and stunningly beautiful.
And even though we didn't wake up at 4-flippin-30 in the morning, we still saw a few animals. On our trip back after lunch, we came across a herd of big horned sheep. We also saw a sweet momma duck and her little chicks in Sprague Lake, and these cute little chipmunks were everywhere. Oh and these beautiful creatures...
shhh. Don't tell anyone, but they came home with me. :)
Now What?
If you turn on the news or open your eyes a little each day, you will see that the world we live in harbors a great deal of pain. Scratch a little below the surface of every living person you meet, and you will encounter it. I used to have a tremendous amount of pain in my life. You didn’t need to probe, it bled out my pores. But even with all the healing that has gone on in my life, even after re-training myself to deal differently with stresses and destructive thoughts, I am still living with pain that is surprisingly not very deep beneath the surface. I imagine we all are.
As a compassionate human being, my heart goes out to those who are struggling. As a Christian, I believe I have a responsibility to reach out with God’s blessing and power to help them. I feel a bit unique in the fact that I have survived a great variety of painful experiences in my life. I can relate to some the way others cannot. Romans 8:28 says that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” I feel like I should be allowing God to use me to relate to those who are going through the same struggles I have already gone through. I don’t want to think that I went through all that pain for nothing. I realize that had I not been in that much pain, I may never have been desperate enough to reach out to God, and for that reason alone, I am grateful that I did endure them. But there’s got to be more.
I am a dork. I lack initiative, but I never lack passion. I'm always dreaming and coming up with these lofty goals to help people. But I am sooo not a detail person. I rarely care about the details. I am flighty and spontaneous, and if I think for a second that I could be of help to an orphanage in Uganda, then you’ll find me trying to figure out how to get over there. I don’t consider that it might cost a lot of money for an international flight. I don’t consider what I’d do with my kids while I was there. I don’t consider which orphanage to work with or how long I’d need to be there to do any good. I always assume those things will work themselves out. I could find a way to get the money. The kids would probably love to come with me and help. I’m sure any orphanage I came across wouldn’t turn down an extra set of hands, so to me these things don’t matter.
But the unfortunate reality is that they do matter. And honestly, I am blessed to have a husband who does consider the details, although maybe a little too much. So much so, in fact, that I haven’t yet made it to a Ugandan orphanage.
Maybe someday I will. Maybe that’s not in the plans that God has laid out for me.
You can encounter pain everywhere you look. You don’t have to travel overseas to reach the struggling. Your neighbor may need someone to talk to. The elderly woman up the road may need someone to help her get her groceries on a weekly basis. These aren’t things I would be opposed to doing. They wouldn’t require much out of me, but they would mean the world to the people receiving the effort.
I just don’t know how to seek them out. Usually we put on a happy-go-lucky face when we leave our front doors in the morning, and to the casual observer, we don’t look like we are dealing with much pain. I don’t want to pry. I don’t feel like I need to have a block party and invite all my neighbors over just to sit them down under a spotlight and play good cop/bad cop to force them to confess their stresses to me. There have been days when I thought about setting up a confession booth in the cul-de-sac down the road to get people to tell me about their lives. I realize I can't do that, but I do wish people would be more authentic.
Of course, if all my neighbors came out of their front doors screaming and crying and tearing at their hair, their faces all slippery and slobbery and pockets pulled inside out to show their poverty, I don’t think I’d leave my house!
When I read a Christian book about how to engage my community or how to reach the world and fight injustice and all these things that I could do to bring glory to God, I end up with a belly full of passion but no game plan. And I’m not one that needs to be convinced that my walk is shallow and that I don’t live like I believe that my God can move mountains. I am reading these books to find out what specifically to do, not that something needs to be done and that I’m the one to do it. I can’t come up with any details on how to implement what I’ve just read. I don’t know how to get involved. There are so many people out there doing all these amazing things to help people and introduce them to Jesus. As a Christian, why am I not among them? I pray for people, I donate my used clothes and shoes to Goodwill, I give money at our church so the youth can build houses for people less fortunate, but it never feels like it’s enough. It feels a bit stale, a bit too easy, like it doesn’t take a lot of effort. Or faith. I don’t want to stop doing those things, but I don’t really feel like I’m giving my life to God.
I will read these books and even find an index at the back full of websites and other resources that I can look into to get more involved. And when I visit the websites, I encounter more facts about the problem and the need for someone like me to do something about it. Do what about it? What can I do? Tell me! I don’t know what to do next. The book won’t tell me to ask for Mr. Jones, who will then meet me at a local Starbucks and walk me hand in hand down to the homeless shelter and introduce me to these nice, non-violent, non-drug addicted families who’ve just been dealt a crushing blow and are in need of a one-time donation of $20 and some socks. And that if I do this, the families will then be skyrocketed into a stable job with a comfortable house in a nice school district and that their pain will be something they tell their grandchildren about that makes them stronger each and every morning.
It just doesn’t work like that.
But even if it did, I wouldn’t know that I was supposed to contact Mr. Jones in the first place.
I realize that the suggestions in books are meant to be open-ended. Even Jesus’ commands are a bit grey – “Love your neighbor as yourself,” “Judge not unless you want to be judged,” “Let your body be a living and holy sacrifice.” What exactly does that look like? What is it I’m specifically supposed to do?
I believe that for a reason it’s open for interpretation. We were each given particular talents that we are just naturally good at. I think I’m a decent communicator. I love dialoguing. I like to read and write and be involved in that whole conversation. My husband – not so much. But he is the quickest person besides Jesus Himself to forgive a person. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. I am truly blessed by this gift. But if you ask him what his talents are, he won’t mention it. To him, it’s not all that significant. But it’s a talent I wish I possessed, that’s for sure. I notice it and count it because for me, I struggle to forgive others when they hurt me. I imagine that a lot of the time we don’t consider our gifts for what they are. I imagine we don’t count them when we’re trying to see what good we could do for others. Last week in church, we talked about this very thing. We were supposed to share our talents with a person next to us. And when my mother in law and my husband shared theirs with me, I was surprised that they didn’t mention others that are so obvious to me.
So to engage our hurting neighbors, I think we are to identify our God-given talents, figure out what our passions are and then find a need in the world where we would fit like a glove. And if we do it for God’s glory, we can’t go wrong.
Now if I could only find a book that had a chart in it that listed all the needs in the world and connected them to people with particular passions and talents. Then we would be talking.
If you are good at _____ and you love to _____, then the _____ people in ______ could really use your help.
Just don’t ask me to write that book. I have no idea where I fit in this world, but I highly doubt being the author of that book would be it.
As a compassionate human being, my heart goes out to those who are struggling. As a Christian, I believe I have a responsibility to reach out with God’s blessing and power to help them. I feel a bit unique in the fact that I have survived a great variety of painful experiences in my life. I can relate to some the way others cannot. Romans 8:28 says that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” I feel like I should be allowing God to use me to relate to those who are going through the same struggles I have already gone through. I don’t want to think that I went through all that pain for nothing. I realize that had I not been in that much pain, I may never have been desperate enough to reach out to God, and for that reason alone, I am grateful that I did endure them. But there’s got to be more.
I am a dork. I lack initiative, but I never lack passion. I'm always dreaming and coming up with these lofty goals to help people. But I am sooo not a detail person. I rarely care about the details. I am flighty and spontaneous, and if I think for a second that I could be of help to an orphanage in Uganda, then you’ll find me trying to figure out how to get over there. I don’t consider that it might cost a lot of money for an international flight. I don’t consider what I’d do with my kids while I was there. I don’t consider which orphanage to work with or how long I’d need to be there to do any good. I always assume those things will work themselves out. I could find a way to get the money. The kids would probably love to come with me and help. I’m sure any orphanage I came across wouldn’t turn down an extra set of hands, so to me these things don’t matter.
But the unfortunate reality is that they do matter. And honestly, I am blessed to have a husband who does consider the details, although maybe a little too much. So much so, in fact, that I haven’t yet made it to a Ugandan orphanage.
Maybe someday I will. Maybe that’s not in the plans that God has laid out for me.
You can encounter pain everywhere you look. You don’t have to travel overseas to reach the struggling. Your neighbor may need someone to talk to. The elderly woman up the road may need someone to help her get her groceries on a weekly basis. These aren’t things I would be opposed to doing. They wouldn’t require much out of me, but they would mean the world to the people receiving the effort.
I just don’t know how to seek them out. Usually we put on a happy-go-lucky face when we leave our front doors in the morning, and to the casual observer, we don’t look like we are dealing with much pain. I don’t want to pry. I don’t feel like I need to have a block party and invite all my neighbors over just to sit them down under a spotlight and play good cop/bad cop to force them to confess their stresses to me. There have been days when I thought about setting up a confession booth in the cul-de-sac down the road to get people to tell me about their lives. I realize I can't do that, but I do wish people would be more authentic.
Of course, if all my neighbors came out of their front doors screaming and crying and tearing at their hair, their faces all slippery and slobbery and pockets pulled inside out to show their poverty, I don’t think I’d leave my house!
When I read a Christian book about how to engage my community or how to reach the world and fight injustice and all these things that I could do to bring glory to God, I end up with a belly full of passion but no game plan. And I’m not one that needs to be convinced that my walk is shallow and that I don’t live like I believe that my God can move mountains. I am reading these books to find out what specifically to do, not that something needs to be done and that I’m the one to do it. I can’t come up with any details on how to implement what I’ve just read. I don’t know how to get involved. There are so many people out there doing all these amazing things to help people and introduce them to Jesus. As a Christian, why am I not among them? I pray for people, I donate my used clothes and shoes to Goodwill, I give money at our church so the youth can build houses for people less fortunate, but it never feels like it’s enough. It feels a bit stale, a bit too easy, like it doesn’t take a lot of effort. Or faith. I don’t want to stop doing those things, but I don’t really feel like I’m giving my life to God.
I will read these books and even find an index at the back full of websites and other resources that I can look into to get more involved. And when I visit the websites, I encounter more facts about the problem and the need for someone like me to do something about it. Do what about it? What can I do? Tell me! I don’t know what to do next. The book won’t tell me to ask for Mr. Jones, who will then meet me at a local Starbucks and walk me hand in hand down to the homeless shelter and introduce me to these nice, non-violent, non-drug addicted families who’ve just been dealt a crushing blow and are in need of a one-time donation of $20 and some socks. And that if I do this, the families will then be skyrocketed into a stable job with a comfortable house in a nice school district and that their pain will be something they tell their grandchildren about that makes them stronger each and every morning.
It just doesn’t work like that.
But even if it did, I wouldn’t know that I was supposed to contact Mr. Jones in the first place.
I realize that the suggestions in books are meant to be open-ended. Even Jesus’ commands are a bit grey – “Love your neighbor as yourself,” “Judge not unless you want to be judged,” “Let your body be a living and holy sacrifice.” What exactly does that look like? What is it I’m specifically supposed to do?
I believe that for a reason it’s open for interpretation. We were each given particular talents that we are just naturally good at. I think I’m a decent communicator. I love dialoguing. I like to read and write and be involved in that whole conversation. My husband – not so much. But he is the quickest person besides Jesus Himself to forgive a person. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. I am truly blessed by this gift. But if you ask him what his talents are, he won’t mention it. To him, it’s not all that significant. But it’s a talent I wish I possessed, that’s for sure. I notice it and count it because for me, I struggle to forgive others when they hurt me. I imagine that a lot of the time we don’t consider our gifts for what they are. I imagine we don’t count them when we’re trying to see what good we could do for others. Last week in church, we talked about this very thing. We were supposed to share our talents with a person next to us. And when my mother in law and my husband shared theirs with me, I was surprised that they didn’t mention others that are so obvious to me.
So to engage our hurting neighbors, I think we are to identify our God-given talents, figure out what our passions are and then find a need in the world where we would fit like a glove. And if we do it for God’s glory, we can’t go wrong.
Now if I could only find a book that had a chart in it that listed all the needs in the world and connected them to people with particular passions and talents. Then we would be talking.
If you are good at _____ and you love to _____, then the _____ people in ______ could really use your help.
Just don’t ask me to write that book. I have no idea where I fit in this world, but I highly doubt being the author of that book would be it.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
signs of life
I've mentioned before that I'd been feeling the baby move recently. Now I definitely feel him everyday, and last night for the first time, I felt him kick my hand. I was reading and had laid a hand on the belly when he 'made contact.' It was so lovely. I had Ben rest his hand there too, and as soon as Daddy started talking, Jack kicked his hand. It was nice seeing Ben's excitement. He mentioned that it has got to be really weird to have something kicking you from the inside. Although it is a bit weird, it's such a divine opportunity to bond with your child before you can hold him in your arms and look him in the eye. I feel so blessed to be a woman who has this privilege. And I love that I can share a bit of that with my husband. I think it probably helps him to connect as well. I tried to get the kids to feel it earlier, but Jack wasn't cooporating. I'm sure it'll happen many times though before he is delivered.
I love being pregnant!
I love being pregnant!
Friday, June 13, 2008
and a good time was had by all
We've had way too much fun recently. Seriously, my body hurts! But it's been worth it.
Yup, that's my prissy daughter slamming the ball. She's a natural.
And that's not all folks. Today, my sister in law brought her four kids over for a playdate. We got out the waterguns and filled the pool up with water and just let the kids get soaked. It was warm enough that even I braved the really cold water by dipping my feet in the pool and letting the kids spray my hair with the water guns so they could make spikes on my head. I told them that they need to come do my hair before church on Sunday. I would totally wear it however they fixed it. I was too exhausted to get out the camera for their visit, but you can trust me, it was fun, and we thoroughly enjoyed their visit.
First off, we had a blind playdate with the daughter of a childcare worker from Texas that used to watch our kiddos at church. She was always telling me how well her daughter and I would get along. She lives in Denver and looked me up when we moved here. She contacted me last week, inviting us to join her and her 8 year old daughter in Boulder for some running around, and we met. It was such fun. We really enjoyed meeting them and playing. We let our kids run through the fountains on Pearl St., then whipped out our cameras and headed for these gorgeous doors of some local churches to snap some pictures of our kids. Here's one of my favorite shots from that shoot.
Then this Tuesday, my mom and stepdad flew into Colorado to celebrate their anniversary. They come here every year because it's their favorite place to be. They were able to be in the room when I was having my ultrasound, so they were among the first to know that we're having a boy. The next day, I took them to Boulder Falls, these gorgeous waterfalls just off the road in Boulder. It was really chilly, and the winds picked up and the temperature dropped dramatically while we were there. As soon as we were out of the mountains, it was warm and dry again. Silly mountains. Here are some pics from that.
Do you see my stepdad's legs? That's right, he's a runner. And not just your average run around the block to stay fit runner. He's run in multiple marathons, been invited to run in the Boston Marathon and to run with the torch during the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles. I brought him to show and tell when I was in the third grade, and if my memory serves me (and it rarely does), he lit the torch in the classroom and nearly gave my teacher a heart attack. :)
After our trip to the falls, we spend the rest of the afternoon in our backyard playing baseball. My stepdad was a little league coach for years and to this day umpires for a little fun. So he bought us a decent tee, a good bat and glove, some balls and some bases. It was soooo awesome to watch him showing my kids how to hold a bat and run the bases. I could almost smell the big dill pickles, hot dogs, and pixie sticks from the concession stands that I frequented all during my childhood.
Yup, that's my prissy daughter slamming the ball. She's a natural.
and all ball players need to learn how to take care of their equipment. Here's Josh taking his glove and bat indoors so it doesn't get ruined in the yard.
After that, we walked over to the school where Gillian will be attending in the fall. Josh got a ride. I'm sure his little legs were killing him at this point, so Papaw carried him on his shoulders.
As you've probably seen, Josh was carried a lot during Papaw's visit. He really adores his Gramie and Papaw.
We went out to dinner after we got back from walking to the school, and since it was way past the kids' bedtimes, I had figured that my folks would just head to their hotel rooms so we could all get some good rest. Nope. They followed us home and asked if it was alright if they came in to play a game with the kids. And like any sensible person, I said, "What are you thinking? We're exhausted. Go home!" Well, actually it came out more like "Of course!" So we got out the Disney Princess version of Monopoly and played for another hour and a half. During which time, Josh was getting nutty and had to be removed from the group to get a bath and relax. Funny thing is, he still beat the pants off of everyone else. :)
The next day, they met us for lunch, and then we walked around some lakes just to get in a few extra moments with them before they headed off to their anniversary destination. They're going hiking near Estes Park and staying there for the duration of their vacation. After they left, I just wasn't ready to leave the large bodies of water, so I found a reservoir nearby, got all the shovels, pails, and outdoor toys that I could fit into our trunk, and we went to the lake. This one had a beach around it, and my kids really loved that. Even though it was late and the sun was going down, we still stayed out there for about an hour, wading in the water, collected 'seaweed' and digging holes in the sand to then be filled with water. It was so nice and relaxing. See for yourself.
And that's not all folks. Today, my sister in law brought her four kids over for a playdate. We got out the waterguns and filled the pool up with water and just let the kids get soaked. It was warm enough that even I braved the really cold water by dipping my feet in the pool and letting the kids spray my hair with the water guns so they could make spikes on my head. I told them that they need to come do my hair before church on Sunday. I would totally wear it however they fixed it. I was too exhausted to get out the camera for their visit, but you can trust me, it was fun, and we thoroughly enjoyed their visit.
With Sunday being Father's Day, I'm sure we'll be getting together with Ben's mom for some celebrating. Seriously folks, the fun never stops around here. We are simply awesome. And if you don't believe me, you should come visit and let us show you how to enjoy your days. Consider yourselves invited. :)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Let's Hear It For the BOYS!
Yippie! I had my 20 week ultrasound yesterday and found out that we are having a BOY! I am so excited. My mom and stepdad had flown in to Colorado that morning and were able to attend the ultrasound. That was very special to me. They are here to celebrate their anniversary and are spending a few days with us before they run off to be the cute little love birds that they are.
So I am just over the moon about our little Jack. Yeah, that's his name. It's funny trying to come up with a middle name for the name Jack. Honestly, my first favorite was Jack Daniel, but I just couldn't do that to him. It was suggested that we name him Jack Sprat, Jack Deripper, Jack Sparrow, Jack Indabox, Youdunno Jack, and Captain Jack. I really liked Jack Kerouac, but was promptly vetoed by hubby who obviously just doesn't understand the sheer coolness of a name like that. :)
We have settled on a name. Most of my friends know it already. But at the wise advice of my friend Chris, we're not telling.
I love ultrasounds. It is fascinating to see your little sugarface before he comes out. We got some cute profile pics of him with his mouth wide open. We got a straight on face shot where you can actually see one of his eyeballs (totally Martian. very weird looking!). Also for most of the time, his legs were up over his head. He was folded over like a pretzel. Hey, whatever works. I'm a lot more flexible when floating around in liquid too. And we got several shots that completely and utterly assure us that he is a HE. Jack is not a shy one, that's for sure. :)
I've been having a great deal more movement recently. I L O V E that. I'm one of those crazies that wouldn't mind having a heartbeat monitor on for the first half of the pregnancy just to make sure everything is still A-Ok in there. I could never have a home birth. I imagine it's lovely to be surrounded by all your familiar, comfortable things. But I NEED the monitors telling me everything's going alright. I NEED to assess the looks of the nurses when they come in to check on us. I NEED to know that if something goes wrong for whatever reason, I don't have to waste time driving to the hospital, registering and waiting to be seen. They will be on me like a squeals at a New Kids on the Block concert (yes, even the reunion shows.). I just NEED all that reassurance. I just can't get comfortable without it. So I love all the movements. It helps to reassure me that Jack is alright.
Today, my folks, kiddos and I are heading out to walk among some local waterfalls and do some hiking. My family loves spending time outdoors, and my kids think time with Gramie and Papaw is way better than Disneyland! So we're all sure to have a blast.
Here's to summer! Get out and enjoy yourselves.
So I am just over the moon about our little Jack. Yeah, that's his name. It's funny trying to come up with a middle name for the name Jack. Honestly, my first favorite was Jack Daniel, but I just couldn't do that to him. It was suggested that we name him Jack Sprat, Jack Deripper, Jack Sparrow, Jack Indabox, Youdunno Jack, and Captain Jack. I really liked Jack Kerouac, but was promptly vetoed by hubby who obviously just doesn't understand the sheer coolness of a name like that. :)
We have settled on a name. Most of my friends know it already. But at the wise advice of my friend Chris, we're not telling.
I love ultrasounds. It is fascinating to see your little sugarface before he comes out. We got some cute profile pics of him with his mouth wide open. We got a straight on face shot where you can actually see one of his eyeballs (totally Martian. very weird looking!). Also for most of the time, his legs were up over his head. He was folded over like a pretzel. Hey, whatever works. I'm a lot more flexible when floating around in liquid too. And we got several shots that completely and utterly assure us that he is a HE. Jack is not a shy one, that's for sure. :)
I've been having a great deal more movement recently. I L O V E that. I'm one of those crazies that wouldn't mind having a heartbeat monitor on for the first half of the pregnancy just to make sure everything is still A-Ok in there. I could never have a home birth. I imagine it's lovely to be surrounded by all your familiar, comfortable things. But I NEED the monitors telling me everything's going alright. I NEED to assess the looks of the nurses when they come in to check on us. I NEED to know that if something goes wrong for whatever reason, I don't have to waste time driving to the hospital, registering and waiting to be seen. They will be on me like a squeals at a New Kids on the Block concert (yes, even the reunion shows.). I just NEED all that reassurance. I just can't get comfortable without it. So I love all the movements. It helps to reassure me that Jack is alright.
Today, my folks, kiddos and I are heading out to walk among some local waterfalls and do some hiking. My family loves spending time outdoors, and my kids think time with Gramie and Papaw is way better than Disneyland! So we're all sure to have a blast.
Here's to summer! Get out and enjoy yourselves.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Living the dream
Sitting in my new hammock, with a drink on the chair next to me, a book on my lap, and the kiddos playing in the pool.
b l i s s
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
quote
"I'm frustrated that people keep treating obedience to God as if it's rocket science."
Isn't that great?! It's from an email our pastor received from one of the members of the church we attend. It's been a nice thought to carry around with me this week, and I thought it needed to be shared.
You're welcome.
Isn't that great?! It's from an email our pastor received from one of the members of the church we attend. It's been a nice thought to carry around with me this week, and I thought it needed to be shared.
You're welcome.
Cha-cha-cha-cha Changes
Sooooo. I'm a week away from knowing whether we're having a Jack or a Claire. I'm super excited about that. What a change that will be! Three kiddos. Once they outnumber your arms, you know you're in trouble.
And what's nuts is that I'm already thinking about adoption. I've always wanted four kids, and I don't know whether my uterus will cooperate again. Plus, wouldn't it just be incredible to be a forever family to a little kid who otherwise would get lost in the masses? I don't just want to look at all these fatherless and motherless kids and define them as orphans. I want to be able to say, "That's Tommy over here. He's 3 and loves trains and wants to be a veternarian someday. And that's Emi. She's 5 and wants to dance in a ballet. Her favorite food is speghetti and her favorite color is pink."
Wouldn't that be awesome? Of course, knowing me, I might not stop once I got started. I don't imagine it's easy to arrive at an orphange to pick up your child and see all those other faces staring back at you. I can just see me saying, "I'll take the lot."
There's another change in our household. I have decided after many tears and feelings of failure that I am not currently cut out to be a homeschool mom. It breaks my heart because I'm realizing that I can't be everything to everyone. That's a bitter pill to swallow. But I'm not selfish and prideful enough to sacrifice my kiddos' education just because I really WANT to be that mommy who is endlessly creative and patient and encouraging. And consistant. That's the clincher for me. More often than not, dishes are piled up in my sink and the laundry is piled up in the hampers. I'm not consistant about my household chores, and I'm not consistant with our homeschooling. I'm excellent at being that mom that teaches when an opportunity presents itself. When we're working out in the backyard, I am always talking about how the flowers and trees get water from the ground and sunlight and make their own food. And how worms burrow in the ground to keep cool. and how birds' nest are made and what they're used for. I'm great at lying on the grass and pointing out different types of clouds and constellations. I'm great at driving somewhere and getting the kids to play the alphabet game or count by 10s, 5s and 2s.
but I am not good at sitting down and working in workbooks or going over handwriting and phonics and all that. I'm good at handing my daughter a little purse with a bunch of coins in it every once in a while and making a shop for her to buy stuff at. "do you have enough for this? do i owe you change? do you have anything left? how much more would you need to buy this item?" But the important phrase there is every once in a while. I am not consistant about anything, and I can't let my kiddos suffer because of it.
Now I will help out in their classrooms if I can. I will chaperone field trips and be a member of the PTA and a room mom and all that jazz. I will eagerly help them with their homework and help them become critical thinkers when their teachers or peers are saying something that we don't agree with.
We registered my daughter for kindergarten. She will start this fall. She was practically clawing at the car door when we pulled up to the school. She's such a trooper. She is very, very excited. And I'm excited that she's excited. She'll likely be the oldest kid in her class - she turns 6 just a few weeks after she starts - and because we have actually worked on some things, she'll probably have an advantage. I think her early successes will give her the confidence to keep trying. I think seeing her peers struggle with the same things she struggles with will help too. Right now, we mostly struggle with handwriting. It doesn't come as easily to her as most other things. I imagine that once she sees other kids her age having to work harder at it too, she'll try harder.
so that's a BIG change for us. But I think it's probaby the best decision for us right now. I think that homeschooling would probably give her a better education, but she would need a different teacher than myself. It's painful to say that, but I now realize that it's true. I do feel like a failure in a sense, but if my kids turn out to be capable adults, then I will feel like I had succeeded. And you never know - there are a lot of options out there. We might eventually go back to homeschooling. We might find ourselves a happy mix of homeschooling and public schooling. I don't know. What I do know is that I will definitely be praying for my kids and their teachers each and every year.
Ok, one more change. Not such a big one as adding to one's family, adopting sweet amazing children or entering the public school system. But for me it feels like a big change. I mentioned before that I had cut my hair because I was feeling a bit like a buffalo. Well, the buffalo is no more. In fact, I feel a bit like a sheered sheep. I have very little hair left compared to the mounds and mounds I had before. So without further ado, here's a pic.
And what's nuts is that I'm already thinking about adoption. I've always wanted four kids, and I don't know whether my uterus will cooperate again. Plus, wouldn't it just be incredible to be a forever family to a little kid who otherwise would get lost in the masses? I don't just want to look at all these fatherless and motherless kids and define them as orphans. I want to be able to say, "That's Tommy over here. He's 3 and loves trains and wants to be a veternarian someday. And that's Emi. She's 5 and wants to dance in a ballet. Her favorite food is speghetti and her favorite color is pink."
Wouldn't that be awesome? Of course, knowing me, I might not stop once I got started. I don't imagine it's easy to arrive at an orphange to pick up your child and see all those other faces staring back at you. I can just see me saying, "I'll take the lot."
There's another change in our household. I have decided after many tears and feelings of failure that I am not currently cut out to be a homeschool mom. It breaks my heart because I'm realizing that I can't be everything to everyone. That's a bitter pill to swallow. But I'm not selfish and prideful enough to sacrifice my kiddos' education just because I really WANT to be that mommy who is endlessly creative and patient and encouraging. And consistant. That's the clincher for me. More often than not, dishes are piled up in my sink and the laundry is piled up in the hampers. I'm not consistant about my household chores, and I'm not consistant with our homeschooling. I'm excellent at being that mom that teaches when an opportunity presents itself. When we're working out in the backyard, I am always talking about how the flowers and trees get water from the ground and sunlight and make their own food. And how worms burrow in the ground to keep cool. and how birds' nest are made and what they're used for. I'm great at lying on the grass and pointing out different types of clouds and constellations. I'm great at driving somewhere and getting the kids to play the alphabet game or count by 10s, 5s and 2s.
but I am not good at sitting down and working in workbooks or going over handwriting and phonics and all that. I'm good at handing my daughter a little purse with a bunch of coins in it every once in a while and making a shop for her to buy stuff at. "do you have enough for this? do i owe you change? do you have anything left? how much more would you need to buy this item?" But the important phrase there is every once in a while. I am not consistant about anything, and I can't let my kiddos suffer because of it.
Now I will help out in their classrooms if I can. I will chaperone field trips and be a member of the PTA and a room mom and all that jazz. I will eagerly help them with their homework and help them become critical thinkers when their teachers or peers are saying something that we don't agree with.
We registered my daughter for kindergarten. She will start this fall. She was practically clawing at the car door when we pulled up to the school. She's such a trooper. She is very, very excited. And I'm excited that she's excited. She'll likely be the oldest kid in her class - she turns 6 just a few weeks after she starts - and because we have actually worked on some things, she'll probably have an advantage. I think her early successes will give her the confidence to keep trying. I think seeing her peers struggle with the same things she struggles with will help too. Right now, we mostly struggle with handwriting. It doesn't come as easily to her as most other things. I imagine that once she sees other kids her age having to work harder at it too, she'll try harder.
so that's a BIG change for us. But I think it's probaby the best decision for us right now. I think that homeschooling would probably give her a better education, but she would need a different teacher than myself. It's painful to say that, but I now realize that it's true. I do feel like a failure in a sense, but if my kids turn out to be capable adults, then I will feel like I had succeeded. And you never know - there are a lot of options out there. We might eventually go back to homeschooling. We might find ourselves a happy mix of homeschooling and public schooling. I don't know. What I do know is that I will definitely be praying for my kids and their teachers each and every year.
Ok, one more change. Not such a big one as adding to one's family, adopting sweet amazing children or entering the public school system. But for me it feels like a big change. I mentioned before that I had cut my hair because I was feeling a bit like a buffalo. Well, the buffalo is no more. In fact, I feel a bit like a sheered sheep. I have very little hair left compared to the mounds and mounds I had before. So without further ado, here's a pic.
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