soulful son

I recently rented the movie, Once, the little movie that could. It won for Best Original Song at the Academy Awards, and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Glen Hansard, perhaps better known as the guitarist and lead singer of the Irish rock band, The Frames, stars as "Boy," the lead male cast member who is a street musician (and Hoover vacuum repair man). Marketa Irglova stars as "Girl," a young woman who meets Boy on the street while he is performing and actually has a busted vacuum in need of repair.

Now you'll think you know what's about to happen. You're thinking they fall in love and live happily ever after. And perhaps they do in a sense. What both have in common, however, is heartache and music. If they have feelings for one another, they push them aside to go after the one they left behind. They are both seeking to make it work with their ex's. All the while, these two very talented musicians are also trying to record an album of Hansard's music, and there is undeniable chemistry in play.

But why am I telling you this? If you really want to know the way it ends, go and see it for yourself. You'll thank me later.

Anyhoooo, back to the reason for the post. After seeing the movie (and having this intense desire to find a group of musicians and jam for hours), I immediately went to Amazon and downloaded the soundtrack, along with some additional tracks from a previous album Hansard and Irglova recorded together called "The Swell Season." I've been listening to them constantly in the car when making the drive to Denver, so the kids have heard the songs over and over again. This afternoon, as I was making us a lovely lunch of BLT's, with a side of strawberries, blueberries, cubes of colby-jack cheese, and yogurt, Josh was serenading Gillie and me in the kitchen. When I realized he was singing, I started listening to the words. Honestly, I was floored to hear these things coming out of my 3 year old son. He was singing about how his heart was broken. How his heart was ruined. How Gillie ruined his heart (He added this jab only after she knocked into him as she was running off some energy). He sang about how he just wanted love.

Oy, if I hadn't made the connection between those particular lyrics and the soundtrack, I would have freaked out and probably called some psychologist. But instead, I've just been non-stop smiling for the past half hour realizing how soulful he sounded. Even though he doesn't understand about heartache the way the writers of the lyrics do, it was still kind of sweet to view my darling boy as a sensitive young man.

Now if I ever hear my young daughter singing the Britney Spears lyrics, "I'm not that innocent," I'm going to blow my top! :)

Fierce!

I keep hearing this word - fierce - in conversations about modeling and fashion. So I thought it was time to show you turkeys what fierce really looks like.

That's right. I 'ink'd up' my son with these temporary tattoos. Our dear friend Rebekah sent these to Josh for his birthday, and today he asked me to put them on him. What's funny is that yesterday, we were at the Target customer service counter, and the guy who was helping us had a nose ring. Josh asked him, "What's that in your nose?" The guy politely answered that it was a nose ring and asked him if he liked it. Josh turned to me and said "I want one!"

Now I have no problem holding a damp cloth with a few colorful pictures to my son's chest, but the idea of him piercing his nose is making me weak in the knees. Even thinking of him doing it when he's like 40. Which is hysterical given my past.

Here's some more pics from our little photo shoot this afternoon.

This boy knows how to melt his mommy.

Jesus called. He wants His religion back.

I just read a news report about some people in the Philippines who nail themselves to crosses every Good Friday. This one guy has done it 13 times! His father before him did it 15 times. They say that they do this to either fulfill a vow or to pray for the end of an illness. The local Roman Catholic church is concerned because it has turned into a bit of a media circus, and they are worried the men and women are marketing their devotion for the sake of tourism. The ones who are not being nailed to crosses are beating their backs with bamboo sticks hung from ropes. The article said that they do it to atone for their sins (!?!). The guy who'd been nailed 13 times said that after he does it, he feels "refreshed, like all my sins are washed away."

Goodness Gracious! These guys need to learn the love of God! What are they trying to do - prove their devotion? Faith? Luniacy? If we could somehow do something to prove our devotion to God, Jesus would never have had to die. Do they really think that these works will somehow convince God to heal their families? I'd have to be pretty convinced in order to let someone nail me to a cross! Why don't they just believe in the power of prayer? Why does it have to be a spectacle? And most importantly, wasn't Jesus' death on the cross enough to wash away their sins? Why do these men and women feel like they still need their sins to be washed away every year? What is their church teaching them?

It's really easy for me to look at these people and think they are 100%, certifiably, coo-coo. It's a bit harder to look at myself and question whether I do this too in some way. Do I try to work my way into God's radar so He will pay attention to my needs? Do I believe that if I stopped doing some of the work that I do, that God wouldn't notice or hear my prayers? Is the work I do based on some twisted, drunk-with-pride hope that He will consider me one of His most faithful? Would I ever consider myself in direct competition with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ for God's affection? Are you kidding? Of course not. But I do still have a bit of a teacher's pet left in me, so the urge to impress my 'leaders,' 'teachers,' and 'heroes' is something that I have to consider. I can convince myself that my motivation is nothing but honorable, but that doesn't mean that it is. That just means that I don't mind being suckered by my own pride and insane addiction to acceptance and favor.

If we truly believe what Jesus said, then we don't need to go around trying to earn our salvation. We already have it. It was given to us. A gift from God. We can't do anything special enough to earn it aside from just receiving it from Jesus. Does that mean we can put on blinders and just let the world go on as if we now don't have access to God? Of course not. There's plenty of work to be done for God's Kingdom. We shouldn't be acting as if God's grace had no affect on us whatsoever.

Now God doesn't NEED us to do His Kingdom work. He could do it all Himself without breaking a bead of sweat. And look at this world - that is a LOT of work! But He wants to lavish us with thanks and appreciation and rewards once we make it into His Kingdom. Maybe because that's one of His love languages - He's a gift giver. He wants to give us a high-five and say "Thanks. Thanks for recognizing My hand in your world. Thanks for recognizing my Son as my gift to you. Thanks for seeing my people with My eyes and taking care of them. Thanks for acting like the family I created you to be."

But if we're working so hard to impress our Father, we'll never consider the rewards we receive from Him. We'll think we've earned them in some way and pocket all the glory for ourselves. He wants us to enjoy the freedom we have in the grace that has been extended to us. It's what seperates followers of Jesus from the rest of the world. It's what God wants for us. He doesn't want us to carry around fear. What kind of faith can we have if we're acting like we're not sure we were actually saved? That is no way to treat God. After all He's done. After all the rage He holds back, waiting instead for the appointed time of things. After all the heartache from watching us hate our brothers and sisters. After all the rejection. After all He's done, all His faithfulness, His power and might proven to us, to try to steal His thunder and act as if we can do this on our own - wow. We must not know Him at all.

Here's to diving deeper into a relationship with Him where we get to truly see His love, His grace, His power, His glory, His patience, and His faithfulness. So that we never again confuse our abilities with His.

Happy Spring

I'm having a weird day. Just out of sorts for some reason. So if you too are having a whiggity-whiggity-whack kind of day, here's some floral support.

You're welcome.

Oh no she didn't!

Gillian cracked me up this evening. I bought the kids a game from Target today called Let's Go Fishin' where little fish spin around a board, opening and closing their mouths, and you try to catch as many as you can. Well, I caught Gillie cheating and putting the line in the fish's mouth with her hand instead of her reel. I looked at her and asked, "Gillian, what are you thinking?"

To which she replies, "I'm thinkin Arby's."

That took a lot of nerve, but it was soooo worth it. :)

Happy Birthday Sugar Face

Sunday was my son, Josh's, 3rd birthday! We celebrated by having family over for hot dogs, a Lightning McQueen cake that I made, and ice cream. It was very fun. Here are some pics to prove it!

And here's a few oldies, but goodies...

Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam

Boulder's University of Colorado's mascot is the buffalo, and we live about 10 miles outside of Boulder. We are moved in, not totally unpacked yet, and settling into our new life here in Colorado. The kids and I got here almost 2 weeks ago. Our stuff was delivered a week ago. I gotta tell ya, that POD business is the way to go! If you are moving, I can't recommend that service enough. Of course, we didn't use the official PODs, we used a cheaper knock-off, but they were outstanding.

We are loving having a backyard. We've been out there everyday, even the days when there was snow everywhere. We went hiking on Monday. We found this trail that some website said was kid friendly. It was soooo steep! We were all breathing heavy about 100 feet in! How pathetic is that?! But we pushed on and completed the 1.8 mile round trip. Hubby was distressed by the vast amount of mud. I guess he hadn't figured that melting snow plus dirt trails equals mud. But I loved it. My philosophy is if you haven't been bitten by something, scorched by the sun or gotten dirty, then you haven't REALLY played outdoors.

I have a bit more morning sickness these days that I had before. I'm just overly sensitive right now to smells. That last week that I was finishing packing in Dallas, I got the flu. I wouldn't get off that air mattress for hours. We even had to push back the day we had planned to leave because I just couldn't finish the work. Oh, it was awful. and then one morning, Josh woke me up to tell me that I was all wet. My fever had broke, and I had saturated that silly air mattress. eewwww! but I did feel a great deal better and continuously improved. The nice thing about it, if there can be a nice thing about having the flu, was that I couldn't smell for over a week. But then once I got to Colorado, and hubby's friend from Dallas flew up to help us unload our knockoff POD, my sense of smell came back stronger than ever. And the bad thing is that hubby's friend smoked, so hubby smoked and everytime I opened a box from Dallas, it smelled like smoke. Even the kids' toys and clothes! Hubby never smoked in the house, but I guess that stuff just gets into everything anyway. Sooooo nasty! So I've been overly sensitive to that particular odor. And overly emotional when hubby continues this particular habit. I have not been the most understanding or loving wife recently because of it. It's hard to be all affectionate with your mate when their smell sends you running for the loo. ugh.

So Mr. Josh is turning 3 on Sunday. I can't believe it. He's such a great kid. Yesterday, he was helping me break down some boxes and carry them to the garage. Then he picked up a bag of old cassette tapes of mine. To him it was pretty heavy, but he still managed to get it out the front door and over to the garage. The whole time he was informing me what a tough guy he is. "Mommy, look. I'm tough. I'm a tough guy." I thought that was awesome. Last night, we played Disney Princess Monopoly, and it would crack me up when he would cheer "yes" after every single roll of the die. Hysterical. I'm making him a Lightning McQueen cake, and we're having hubby's sisters and all the cousins over after church on Sunday for hot dogs, cake and ice cream. I'm looking forward to having a get together in our house. We're so far away from all the rest of our family that it's unlikely it will happen often. We live about an hour away from Denver. But the Joshinator's birthday is cause for celebration! yippie!

Here are some recent pics. Enjoy!