Wednesday, September 01, 2010

My Comfortable Place

Last night, my therapist wanted me to think of a place where I can feel very, very comfortable and calm. I'm supposed to be training my brain to be able to recall this place whenever I am stressed or overwhelmed. (Because the ugly, nasty, difficult part of therapy is just around the corner, and we're trying to make sure I have enough buffers around me for when it gets tough.)

It didn't have to be a place I had ever been to before; just somewhere where I think I could be very comfortable.

So this is what I came up with:

I imagined me, laying in this forest. I used all my senses to try to 'experience' it. I smelled the 'growing,' the moss, the brine in the air because there was a coast somewhere off to my left.

I felt a soft breeze and the warm sun when the breeze would blow the canopy of tree tops apart to let the rays warm my face. I felt dirt under my fingertips and dug my bare heels into the moist soil. I love dirt. Not really a fan of mud. I wasn't envisioning this:
More like this. More like when you bake a chocolate cake, and then when it cools off, you break it all up with your bare hands to make cake balls or something. Much more like that.

Then my therapist asked if I thought anyone could get to where I was. My body all tensed up, and I realized that this was no longer a comfortable place. So she asked me to come up with something that would block people from getting to me. She suggested that God build a brick wall around me somewhere, but I didn't like the way that made me feel like I was in a prison or something. So I decided upon a bear, who is awfully protective of me, by the way, and a hawk. They live there, in this beautiful place that I can go to in my head, and they keep anyone else out. I also figured it wouldn't hurt to put a river with some pretty tricky rapids all around the place where I will be laying. How nice is that?

So now, I can go there whenever I want - and believe me, I want to a lot - and just be comfortable. I can enjoy the sites and sounds, the smells and feel and tastes of this woodland little place. Without ever having to leave my house. I can enjoy the fireflies and drippy bokah created by the sunlight hitting the branches just right. I can enjoy the veins of the leaves poking into my shoulders. I can enjoy imagining little creatures living in a mushroom village, flittering to and fro.

I think I'm gonna like it here.

(oh yeah, none of these photos are mine. I know, right?! I never post other people's photos! But like I said, I've never been here before. so I looked around on Flickr and found these that remind me of what I saw in my head last night. Thanks, guys!)

1 comment:

this is us said...

I totally have a place I envision too! It's on a beach - about 85 degrees with a tiny breeze - and I'm under a square palm shade laying either on a chaise or on a massage table but there are bamboo shades down three sides so all I can see is the waves - just me and God's big waves. Sigh. I'm going to go there for real one day - I know it!